I give up.

As it turns out, I'm lousy with CSS. Change colors? Sure, okay. Rearrange sidebar? Ummm...sure. Buttons? Piece of cake. Add a second sidebar? After several hours, not so much, no. Find a background that I like? Nowhere in the entire internet universe. Locate the free three-column template of my dreams? Not in this lifetime. Why do so many templates involve unicorns, pinstripes, skylines or sailor-suited anime vixens with their big eyes and even bigger boobs?

When in doubt, pay someone else to do it for you.