Oscar? I don't even KNOW her!

Acadamy Awards? Jon Stewart? Comments? Questions? Concerns? Seemed to me that the first half of the opening monologue plotzed, but he picked up speed once he got to the Gay Cowboys Through The Ages montage and became progresively more comfortable as the evening wore on. The Acadamy has once again cast a wry, witty, small-screen East Coaster to host the show (think Letterman, think Rock) only to recoil in horror when they take jabs at Hollywood. The movie industry takes itself way too seriously. People: you work in entertainment. Entertainment.

Hollywood should actually be jabbed at more often. Those creepy production numbers were reminiscent of the infamous Rob Lowe/Snow White song & dance fiasco of 1989. I liked Jon Stewart. I don't think they'll ask him back next year, but I think in the end he was pretty damn funny. Not as funny as Lily Tomlin and Meryl Streep, though--you think any of those new big-eyed startlets could have pulled that off? Keira and Reese, perhaps? Or maybe Jennifer and Jennifer? I seriously doubt it.

I liked the faux smear ads. I liked Uma's dress. I like that luminous little Chinese actress whose name I can't pronounce (can I use her as a Christmas Tree angel next year? She's just so teeny and adorable and glowing--is that messed up? Wanting to use a human being as an ornament?) and I liked that Three 6 Mafia won for best song. Not the competition was fierce, or anything, but they were just so darn psyched about it. I really liked the South African winner for Best Foreign Film. Everyone else seemed bored.

And, really, so was I.

The cable box gets turned in tomorrow. I wish my last tv hurrah could have been a little more thrilling. Maybe I should wait a week.