the miscellaneous mischievous misadventures of missbhavens

Lesson #1

2007-07-17T21:05:00.000-04:00

Click the booklet or here for Quicktime (mp4)

or Click here! for Flash

Monday was my very first official driving lesson. I've had my learner's permit for a long, long time.

...and NO, I will NOT show you the picture, so DON'T ask, okay!

Lumiere One: Sprinkler Wave

2007-07-15T17:52:00.000-04:00

Click the garden or here for Quicktime (mp4)

or you can click here for Flash!

I have joined the Lumiere hordes. Now I'm addicted. Here are the rules, and here is the growing collection.

This exercise has taught me a valuable lesson: That which constricts you makes you stronger. Unless it's an actual boa constrictor, in which case it makes you weaker and then you die.

lumiere

Paul Bunyan, my ass.

2007-07-12T17:27:00.000-04:00

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or you PC-types can click here for Flash!

Chainsaws. The power tool made famous by horror movies. There is no scarier piece of portable machinery, as far as I'm concerned. So you can imagine my fury when I found my fiancee not only in possession of a dreaded chainsaw, but up in a tree with it. Please allow me to say it again: he was up in a tree with it.

Our local deli has a donation canister set-up at the counter for an unfortunate citizen who recently met with serious bodily harm while, you guessed it, going up into a tree with a chainsaw. I really didn't want Brian to join him in donation-can-land. Hence the swearing.

At the end of the video you will learn of a new horror entering our lives -- an evil far more horrifying than a chainsaw. And much, much, much louder.

"Spring Song" by Bridge
Brunswick Duo
Courtesy of Podsafe Music Network

(r)amen.

2007-07-05T10:42:00.000-04:00

Click Here for Cookin' in Quicktime

or Click here for Feedin' in Flash!

Instant noodles are magical. You can sit down and slurp them up and feel good knowing that you just ate a 33 cent meal (with no nutritional value whatsoever, so remember to take your vitamins if you are subsisting on Top Ramen) or, you can dress them up and take them to a whole new level. Turn them into haute cuisine!

I like to Pygmalionize my ramen.

Carl Weaver, this one's for you.

It's the 4th. Yeah, yeah.

2007-07-04T13:44:00.000-04:00

Bev knows the score.

Bev sums it up.

limping toward the future

2007-07-02T16:20:00.001-04:00

Clcik the pic for Quicktime or

Click here for Flash Video

The BCH (Big City Hospital) where I work is a mixed bag in terms of technological advancement: way ahead of the times in some respects and way behind in others.

Oh, who am I kidding...we're behind on everything. Way behind. Laughably behind.

Seriously, I work for morons.

Prime-Evil

2007-06-27T17:08:00.000-04:00

Click the spill for Quicktime video

or click here for you Flash player types

Ah, housepainting. The Brady Bunch made it look like so much fun. It's not. They lied. The Brady's had six kids and a perky housekeeper to help them out and they weren't painting over stucco (Mike Brady was too good an architect to have lined their living room with stucco over paperboard).

Big changes coming here at the MMM of M. I'm eventually jumping ship to Wordpress, and the lovely ladies at Swank Web Style are doing their part to ensure overall swankiness. Not quite there yet, but very nearly done. The RSS feed will of course remain the same, and the videos will still reside at blip.tv, but www.missbhavens.com no longer points here, it instead points there.

BTW, the living room is now a very peculiar shade of beige that leans way toward pink. I have no idea how I feel about it.

On a clear day...

2007-06-13T01:11:00.000-04:00

Click here for smokey Quicktime

or click here for sooty Flash!

...you can see forever! Well, not in my Nana's apartment. You're lucky if you can see across the room. She's 86 years old and smokes a pack a day. Years ago, after a series of strokes, my Mother asked the doctor what she could do to help Nana quit. "Quit?", he said, "why? She's in her 80's and loves cigarettes! Let her have SOME joy in her life!" or something like that.

Her walls and ceiling are stained a grubby beige. If her apartment were a sweater in a J.Crew catalog it would be called either "tobacco" or "nicotine". Her upholstered furniture smells like a biker bar and the paintings have a thin coat of sooty film on them. In Miami, there's central AC so it's not like the windows get opened much. Being in that apartment for two afternoons took months off my life. It burns.

My Nana smokes like a stack (or does she?) and wants nothing more in the world than free cigarettes. So we did our part to help her realize her dream while sitting in her hazy apartment listening to On a Clear Day You Can See Forever on vinyl.

That's what family is for!

My very favorite part of this video is when my Mom describes why she is angry with Philip Morris; NOT because they advised her 86 year old mother that if she cut 10 UPCs per day she'd have her free cigarettes in 20 days (am I the only one who finds that completely appalling?), but rather because most people don't know what a UPC is, and it is not removed easily. The fact that little old ladies are being coached on how to maintain brand loyalty was sort of lost on her...but then again, she's smoked since she was a teen.

Man, when they get you, they really get you for life. You've come a long way, baby.

This is the last of the Planet Nana series. Hope you've enjoyed my family foibles.

Little Pixie is Here!

2007-06-11T12:22:00.001-04:00

Pixie is here!
Originally uploaded by missbhavens

I was unable to attend the rockin' videofest that was Pixelodeon this past weekend in LA for one single reason: my BFF (that's, like, "Best Friend Forever", duh!) was having a baby. Not just any baby, the superpowered, otherworldly, obviously brilliant baby you see here! Have you ever seen such a bright and musical baby? So teeny and so smart!

The third and final installment of the Planet Nana series is coming shortly. I've saved the best for last.

The Planet's Surface

2007-05-31T14:07:00.001-04:00

Click the custard for Quicktime

Click here for Flash viewing

We continue our exploration of Planet Nana with a journey atop the planet's surface. The terrain is somewhat rocky, bound on three sides by a turbulent sea. If one ventures too close to the shore and is not careful, there is the possibility of either getting caught in a riptide or having their body smashed against the jagged jetty, or both.

You shouldn't travel to the Planet Nana without appropriate safety gear. The range is wide: you may need as little as a life-jacket or as much as full titanium body armor, depending on the thickness of your skin. Please choose accordingly.

Crash Landing on Planet Nana!

2007-05-28T16:54:00.000-04:00

Click on Nana for Quicktime

Clicky here for Flash

After much planning and plotting Our Gang headed down to sunny Miami, Florida to visit my Nana on her 86th birthday. My Mother and her hubby, my Aunt and myself have all made this trip separately over the years with my visitation being by far the most lax, having gone once when I was five and then again at twenty (bad, bad, naughty granddaughter, I know). We have never made this pilgrimage as a family. The trip was to be brief--fly down Friday morning, fly back Sunday morning-- about as fast and forceful as a blow to the skull with a sledgehammer, which is what we all felt like when we left.

We never knew what hit us.

Music:
Dill Pickles Rag (Xylophone Solo)
William H. Reitz
1922
Courtesy of the Internet Archive

You have 'till May 21st to vote!

2007-05-16T10:21:00.000-04:00

Click the feet for Quicktime

Click this text for Flash

Head on over to the Vlog Deathmatch and vote! Quite a delectable video buffet happening, there. There are retro remakes, visits to far away lands, animated techno, a public display of punk rock, crooning classics, subtle New Wave Bush-bashing, a (very) tall glass of EuroSmooth, artness, and old-skool rappin'. But before you fall prey to her track-suit stylin', note that trash-talking Irina character has called you OUT! You got served! You, readers and watchers of MMMofM , you! Are you going to let her talk to you like that? Verily I say unto you no, bi-carbonate of soda--no! Protest with your vote (that is to say, vote for me. Duh.)!

Oh, who am I kidding. MC Slutsky is a lock, and deservedly so.

But vote for me anyway. I don't expect to win, I just don't want to come in last.

I went the classic '80s MTV writhing-chick route, the product of some sort of mid-30's crisis.* Think Samanatha Fox without the back-up dancers. BigB was such a good sport. He was somewhat concerned that neighbors would witness our shooting PG-13 video in our driveway and in the cow pasture next door. It's a small town, smaller than Mayberry, even, and we don't want to get a reputation for filming naughty video while trespassing. People might talk. And you can't imagine how hot the hood of that truck was...

Putting this together was much harder than I expected. I knew I wanted to use the original videos (thanks Tommy and Joan!) and a special guest star, but lining up the guitar riffs and drum beats was a biotch. Never again. I echo BigB's sentiment (come on, sing it with me!) "Crimson and Clover...Thank God it's over!"

...until the next deathmatch, anyway...

*What? You know I'm technically not in my mid-30's anymore? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nitpicker. Whatever. Shut up.

So many videos...so little time.

2007-05-12T16:31:00.000-04:00

For the first time in months I've actually got my fingers in five projects at a time. So much footage! None of it edited! I am lame.

But until Monday May 11, 2004 11:59PST all my efforts are being funneled into the latest Vlog Deathmatch Challenge.

Vlog Deathmatch is all about victory. There is no second place in a Vlog Deathmatch. Do not commit yourself to a Vlog Deathmatch without careful thought. The community decides the winner. That is all.

And there you go. Music Video is the theme, and the competition is wicked fierce. My plan is to go the traditional route-- to take us all back to that Golden Age of music videos, when men were men, and women wriggled atop cars in their underwear. No innuendo was too smutty, no sleazy cinematic angle went unexplored, no plot was too stupid, and cherry pies were dropped into laps like so many gentle Spring raindrops.

Good times, good times.

So go watch the Vlog Deathmatch Music Video Challenge. Voting begins May 15th and ends May 21st.

Vote. Enjoy. But most of importantly: Rock.

I am a labor and delivery nurse even on my day off.

2007-05-08T18:17:00.000-04:00

Click here for Quicktime mpeg4, which looks better

Click here for Flash, which is passable

This morning I went to feed the birds and got a furry surprise.

FYI: birds aren't furry.

UPDATE 5/9: less than six hours after I shot this video, I opened the box to show the babies to a friend. Gone. Vanished into thin air like Keyser freakin' Soze.

"...and poof. Just like that, he's gone"

I am but a cog in The Spiderman 3 Hype Machine!

2007-05-05T17:06:00.000-04:00

Click the pick for Quicktime

or Click Here to Play in Flash

Now here's a MMM of M first: a repeat! With all the madness generated by the release of Spiderman 3, I thought I'd add a smidge of my own. This is from December '06, back before I discovered how important lighting is while shooting video.

I'm a Spiderman fan from way back. My first exposure to the famous webslinger was in audio form: "The Amazing Spider-Man, A Rockomic! From Beyond the Grave" (Buddha Records, 1972) which I played on my turntable over and over and over until it was scratched beyond recognition. I particularly loved the bizarre song chronicling Spidey and Doctor Strange teaming up to fight crime all over New York. I remember that all the parts featuring Doctor Strange scared me a bit. There were slide whistles and moaning and Twilight Zone-ish sound effects in the background whenever he spoke his lines, and he'd say things like

"In the name of the omnipotent Oshtur, I greet you. Behold what is revealed by The Eye of Agamoto."

Doctor Strange totally freaked me out. But I always liked Spiderman even though I didn't really follow him closely (I was more of an X-Men girl). I loved his backstory, and the simplicity of the ol' blue and red costume.

That ol' costume makes home decorating a snap!

oh, deer

2007-04-30T21:17:00.000-04:00

Play in Quicktime or
Play in Flash!

This was supposed to be a video about fishing. It's not. It's a video of what was happening river-side while everyone else was fishing.

I love it when you set out to do a certain kind of video and end up with something completely different.

Download "Asturias Leyenda" (mp3)
from "Marimba Classic"
by Kai Stensgaard
Danacord Records

Buy at eMusic

Patients? Zero.

2007-04-17T01:40:00.000-04:00

Click here for Quicktime Wackiness

Click the picture or here for flash

A funny thing happened this past weekend: we didn't have any patients admitted on our tour. Quite literally the calm before the storm. No babies born. No one in labor. Just empty rooms. This doesn't happen all that often, so when it does, we react the way any other normal adult professionals would if they were in our place. We hold raucous sing-alongs, careen down the hallways on anything with wheels and eat like crazy. Then there's more singing, of course, some dancing and then some more hall-surfing. Wackiness ensues.

I gripe about my job a lot. I've said many times that "I love the work, but I hate the job" and that still holds true to an extent. The work is fascinating and--on a good day--rewarding as all heck, but the politics of nursing can really, really really get me down. Two things make it bearable: those glimmers of good days where I feel like I'm truly helping my patients, and the strong, funny and goofy women I work with. There's a handful of them in this video, but there are many more. Sure, we have our bad apples like anyplace else, but most of them are sweet and funny and intelligent and kind and caring...and some sing a mean baritone, to boot.

Cheap Eats Map!

2007-04-15T16:13:00.000-04:00

By request, here's a map of the tasty inexpensive treats I profiled during Videoblogging Week 2007. It's clickable and draggable and all that jazz courtesy of quikmaps. I really like the idea of adding more stuff and expanding it. It looks sort of sad right now: such a big city and only five little spots highlighted? I think in the next edit I'll lose the extra text...too crowded. I'll keep all the info in each star's pop-up text window. Maybe I should finally grow up and settle down and make the theme for this videoblog "Eating in new York".

Or not. I just can't afford to replace all my jeans.

Videoblog themelessness will be maintained -- at least for now.

I was THIS close!

2007-04-09T16:24:00.000-04:00

I very nearly made it! I almost completed Videoblogging Week, but missed it by one measly day!
Rather than make myself feel bad about it, I spent most of today watching everything tagged "videobloggingweek2007" over at blip.tv.

And when I get to work tonight, I'll be doing the same thing.

(and I feel damn good about editing all those videos day by day and posting them within a week...I mean, six days).

Also, I'm going on a little diet. VBW07 made my pants not fit.

Videoblogging Week 2007 Day Six -- Bahn Mi

2007-04-06T16:17:00.000-04:00

Click the pic or here for Flash

Click here for Quicktime

Chugging toward the end of VBW07 with my very favorite sandwich, the Vietnamese Bahn Mi. Roasted seasoned pork, some kind of meat pate/boloney slices (I don't really like thinking about it...it's beige and shiny and creepy looking) and carrots, daikon, cucumbers, chili sauce, fiery peppers and cilantro on a fresh toasted baguette. A cheap eats no-brainer at $3.50. There are cheaper Bahn Mi out there, but this one is by far the best. I prefer the pork, but they also have shrimp and veggie ones, too. You have a choice between spicey and not, and I always order them spicy but then backtrack and pull off the peppers. I love the flavor they leave behind, but biting into them is suicide.

This funny little shop churns out nothing but sandwiches, and lives in the back of a jewelery shop. You never know when you might want a coral bracelet to go with your lunch. They weren't too keen on my fliming in there which is why there's no footage of the store (there was some shouting and waving) but they were nice enough to forgive me and sell me a sandwich.

Videoblogging Week 2007 Day Five -- Little Dumplings

2007-04-05T13:09:00.000-04:00

Play in Smooth, Silky Quicktime

Or click here to play in Flash

Not pierogies, this time, but good ol' Asian potstickers. Dumpling Man serves hot, fresh seared dumplings in pork, chicken, shrimp and veggie varieties, and even throws in some desert flavors, as well. At about 80 cents a dumpling, it doesn't get cheaper than this. I was full after four (but then again, I had just eaten a plate of pierogis, a bowl of soup and a mozzarepa).

Dumplings: There is no substitute.

Toward the end of this video there is a glorious NYC moment. A Thank-God-I-Carry-a-Camera moment. The kind of whackiness you always hope to see downtown that is hard to come by these days. A little reminder of what New York City once was and, I'm afraid, may never be again.

Download "Finger Food" (mp3)
from "Shook-Russo Quartet Featuring Greg Gisbert"
by The Shook-Russo Quartet
Summit Records

Buy at iTunes Music Store
Buy at eMusic
Buy at RealNetworks / Rhapsody

Videoblogging Week 2007 Day Four -- Pierogi!

2007-04-04T16:01:00.000-04:00

You Can Play in Flash

(but Quicktime looks better)

If I had to pick one style of food to eat for the rest of my life it would be dumplings. Any dumpling from any nation. Any golfball sized food stuffed into an edible wrapper qualifies. Today's VBW07 features tasty little dumplingy morsels from the Ukraine: pierogi. On day 4, Brian and I head to my favorite palace of plump pierogis, Veselka (actually, we went last week, I only edited and uploaded on day 4). Now, there may be some controversy, but I will state clearly and without shame my preference for fried pierogi. I realize they are often enjoyed boiled. To this I say "Thanks, but no thanks." it's fried or nothing.

The utterly-non-CC music featured is by one of my favorite Ukrainian gypsy punk bands* Gogol Bordello because sometimes, you just want the music you want. So go buy it, it's a hell of a fun record. Bet you never heard anything like it!

When making videos I do make an effort to either futz around with Garageband or comb through Podsafe or IODA or the archive for Creative Commons licensed or public domain music, and occasionally I have had success. But sometimes...well, sometimes you hear a song and think "What a perfect excuse to go eat pierogis at Veselka! Wouldn't this song work great!?". I love music--"love" doesn't even cover it-- I'm a complete and total music freak raised by complete and total music freaks. There are very few silent moments in my life because I have music playing constantly at home and away. There is music for every occasion and mood. Music inspires me, and sometimes it inspires a videoblog post. Hopefully, I'll inspire someone to go buy this terrific album. You can find it here, here, and here.

* Like there's another?

Videoblogging Week 2007 Day Three -- Mozzarepas!

2007-04-03T16:10:00.000-04:00

Play in Quicktime

Play Flash

Today's "cheap eats" VBW07 treat? NYC street fairs. Gotta love 'em. I've lived here my whole life and street fair food has remained basically unchanged: sausage & peppers, candy apples, gyro, funnel cake, lemonade, zeppoles and kabobs. A few food newbies have popped up over the last five years or so: curly fries, crepes, fried oreos and Mozzarepas have worked their way into NYC street snacker's hearts. Now, if somebody would finally bring Dippin' Dots to street fairs, I would be the happiest New Yorker in town.

Ah, Videoblogging Week. Shall I compare thee to a Summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate even though you jam my Fireant so full of videos that I can barely keep up! Hats off to the blip.tv twitterfeed that allows me to just sit back and wait for videos as they post.

But the biggest news of the day? Josh Wolf is FINALLY going home. Right on.

Videoblogging Week 2007 Day Two -- TacoTacoTaco!

2007-04-02T13:17:00.000-04:00

Click here for Quicktime

Click the tacos or here for Flash

Videoblogging Week marches on! Day two of my "cheap eats NYC" series brings us to beautiful Western Queens -- Astoria to be exact. There are foods of all nations represented here in this diverse neighborhood: Greek, Italian, Croatian, Georgian, Japanese, Brazilian, Tibetan (!) and one Mexican restaurant whose tacos defy the imagination.

Seriously, they do. Go try a couple, but just because they are $2 apiece don't get greedy and order three or four! You'd never be able to finish them. Two is plenty. I suggest the chicken and the roast pork. Mmmm...pork.

[videobloggingweek2007]

Videoblogging Week 2007 Day One -- Bag of Cake!

2007-04-01T17:47:00.000-04:00

Click for Quicktime

Click for Flash

Happy Videoblogging Week, 2007! That whacky time of year when vloggers all over the world are encouraged to shoot and post every day for a week*, and encourage others to get join the Great Vloggy Family (some folks already post daily and should be specially recognized for their Herculean vlog efforts: Go Bev!). So why aren't YOU vlogging? You text bloggers, you?! You know who you are! It's sooooooo easy! You can learn to vlog in just one easy step:

Step 1. Visit Freevlog. There you will learn from the videoblog jedi masters. There are instructions for both Macs and PCs, so no excuses!

There were several ideas bandied about for this year's theme, my favorite being The Seven Deadly Sins. But having no clear idea of how to capture "Avarice" in video form I decided to focus entirely on "Gluttony", a sin I know a lot about (insert "Lust" joke here). My very favorite thing about New York city is the abundance of good, cheap food so follow me all week long as I profile my top seven "cheap eats" hot spots. Make sure you write them all down for your next NYC visit!

One of the fun things about videoblogging is that for me it's a never-ending learning process; not just about technical things like tagging and codecs and compression, but real-life stuff, too. The biggest lesson I learned while prepping for VBW07? Most restaurants and food vendors are quite wary of video cameras. Hence, no falafel or Sicilian pizza video. Maybe next year.

*and in my case, experimenting with compression and viewing sizes...please play along.

Music:
"South China Sea"
Steve Doctor
Courtesy of Podsafe Music Network!

[videobloggingweek2007]

It's Coming! Are you ready?

2007-03-28T20:04:00.000-04:00

Take a Mental Shower With Me

2007-03-21T17:35:00.000-04:00

Wanna Shower in Flash? Click here or the picture to lather up.

or click here to videobathe in mpeg4/mp4/Quicktime

Steven Bochco, acclaimed producer of Hill Street Blues, LA Law and NYPD Blue has decided to make a foray into online video. I find his ideas regarding video on the internet (and internet use in general) a little off-putting.

Bochco says he views the Web as a medium best suited for snippets of entertainment that can be consumed between tasks, something he calls a "mental shower."
"I think people go to the Internet, particularly younger people, assuming they’re not going for information, for a distraction between tasks," Bochco said.

A distraction? Steve, I'm hurt. I agree that the internet can be distracting, sure, but to characterize the intercommunicative juggernaut that is The Internet as just something that can keep you from getting bored between scooping out the cat box and waiting for your dinner to pop out of the microwave is a little sad. You have saddened me, Steve. So what's he offering the new web 2.0 world? Confessions. Terrific.

"A good anecdote is like a good joke in terms of length, structure and punch line," Bochco said. "Here I am in the most embarrassing moment of my life — that's the punch line. A lot of people don't know when to stop. Find the punch line and go out with that."

Hmmm...okay. I'm listening.What else?

"The charm of this medium lies in its enormous spontaneity," Bochco said, "because these are completely unscripted and sometimes, for a geezer like me, shockingly candid."

Well, that's certainly true.

I suppose I should be happy that a TV bigwig is joining the internet video world with a concept that doesn't (quite) attempt to copy television--there's enough of that already. But still, it doesn't sit right with me. I want more, I want different, I want better.

I think Steven Bochco can do better.

Porn/Art 2: The Transformation (NSFW)

2007-03-13T17:49:00.000-04:00

Click the Pic (or here) for Flash
Clicky here for mp4 (mpeg4/Quicktime)

*Not Safe For Work...unless your work involves answering Penthouse Letters**

The long-awaited sequel to Porn/Art 1. Hey, fine art takes time, you know! There are four reasonably explicit pornographic images in this video, so Elaine and Megan, don't prop your kids in front of this one. Again, naughty bits have been blacked out, but still, the gist is still there in full porny force.

Some notes about Brian's drawings: firstly, they were difficult for me to photograph correctly. They are pencil on white paper so getting in all the delicate shading*** while avoiding shadows was tough. Also, I didn't realize until after we shot all the footage and stills of the work that I had focused so much on the forms themselves that I missed their relation to the remainder of the space. These images gently float off-center on large amounts of negative background space. I don't think I got that across properly. Sorry about that, Baby.

I really like the three-dimensional quality he's added, and I like the well-placed stars. Most of all I enjoy how de-porned the images became, which was, of course, the entire point. Of these four I have chosen my favorite (the one with two chicks), as well as my least favorite. Can you guess which one that is and why? (hint: remember I just said how I liked how "un-porned" they got?)

***EDIT 3/14/07***Brian would like to correct me here: it was not "shading" that was the issue, it was the "line quality". As you can see, I never took drawing.

For my next post, bread baking!

What, you were expecting more porn? Haven't you had enough?

Music:
Put On Your Tight Pants
The Soda Pop Kids
Full Breach Kick Records
Courtesy of Podsafe Music Network

Ah, Youth

2007-02-28T01:03:00.000-05:00

Click here to play Le Flash

Or here for La Quicktime

I am not old enough for this to be happening to me. Age is just a number. Fairy tales can come true, it can happen to you if you're young at heart.

Kill me. Or, at least stab me in the neck with a fork.

1987 mean anything to you? Anyone? Iran-Contra? "Tear down that wall"? Chunnel? Jim Bakker? The FDA approval of AZT? I still haven't found what I'm looking for? Swimming to Cambodia? Raising Arizona? The Princess Bride? (also Ishtar, but just ignore that). Last Night I Dreamt Somebody Loved Me? The Simpsons?

2007. 1987. 2007. 1987. Get it yet? See the connection? No? Anyway...

I'm actually not a big My Chemical Romance fan, but I respect any band willing to mock themselves and their audience so early in their career. Right on. And I completely understand that their new album speaks to some kids in much the same way Nirvana spoke to those before them (and I didn't get it) and The Smiths spoke to me (which I TOTALLY got). Time marches on, and perky glum rock marches right alongside it. But music magazines are making this record out to be some sort of musical second coming--albeit a snarky musical second coming in glammy Sgt. Pepper-wear-- but, still! They're comparing My Chemical Romance to Queen! Seriously!

If My Chemical Romance is the new Queen then...well...I don't know. Maybe I should record an album with Rob Cavallo and I'll be hailed as the greatest new voice in Rock.

Or Rick Rubin! How about Rick Rubin! All the cool kids are doing it...

2007-02-27T10:01:00.000-05:00

Blogging from the bus!
(blogging from the bus?)

--
===============================================
Brought to you by, Cingular Wireless Messaging
http://www.CingularMe.COM/

Escape!

2007-02-14T21:03:00.000-05:00

Click here for snowy Flash video

Click here for stormy mpeg4 (.mp4)

SNOW DAY!! Winter wonderland, indeed! It's overwhelming! It has been snowing non-stop since last night and we've got tons of snow on the ground. It's hard to say how deep it is because giant drifts have been blown all over the place but it must be at least two feet. And now that Main Street has been plowed, there are huge piles of snow rimming the sidewalks as well. The few sidewalks we have a totally buried. Very few people have shoveled (why bother, it's still snowing!) so you have to walk right up the main road. No cars to worry about--only a fool would be out driving in this. I don't think I've ever been in a storm this big outside the city. It's so gorgeous and this charming one-stop-light town looks like a vintage postcard!

(and actually, we don't even have a stop light, just a lone yellow caution light. It makes an appearance in the video)

My vacation got extended by five days and I dread leaving. Winter in the city stinks! When it snows it's really lovely for about three hours then everything gets frozen and filthy and sooty and filled with garbage. When it finally melts there are newly freed piles of trash floating around. Blecch...but this?

This is Winter Heaven.

Admittedly, a shovel would be nice.

Upstate Deli Surprise

2007-02-13T21:48:00.000-05:00

Click Here or Above To Watch in Flash
or here for mpeg4 (mp4)

Firmly ensconced upstate, now with working internet, awaiting a big snowstorm and enjoying a city-style snack.

I like this little town more and more each day.

"The Machine is Us/ing Us"

2007-02-09T16:59:00.000-05:00

I've watched this several times today. I can't stop watching it. It's swimming around my head and I can't get it out.

We will have to rethink...everything. And I for one am excited as hell about it.

Porn/Art

2007-02-04T13:19:00.000-05:00

Click the picture or here to play in Flash

or click here for the mpeg4 (mp4)

Right off the bat: while this video isn't actually pornographic and merely contains a discussion about porn, it's safe to say it isn't kid-friendly. There is a single pornographic image in the video, and it's got the girly bits blacked out. It's the one you see above. That's the only one, no extra nudie surprises within. If that one image is offensive to you, I'm sorry...and if you were hoping for more than one, I'm sorry about that, too. No dice.

My fiancee has turned from creating large-scale sculptural artwork back to drawing, and his current series involves lots and lots of porn that he culls from the internet. This doesn't bother me...well that's not entirely true.

On an unrelated note, there's all sorts of weirdness with the New Blogger and Feedburner. My feed is now screwy, so a mess of older videos recently got plopped into your feed readers, that's why. There's no fixing it that I know of, so if you've never seen that older stuff, enjoy!

Branded

2007-01-30T00:08:00.000-05:00

Click the pic to Play in Flash

Or click here to play the MPEG4 (.mp4), which I prefer, for some reason

It's stupid to complain about it because it is, in fact, winter but DANG it's cold! And DANG I hate brand names plastered all over my clothing!

(those two topics may seem unrelated, but they are not, I assure you)

On another seemingly unrelated (but not) note: I loves me some Play-Doh! Why aren't more artists working in this medium? It's easy to sculpt, comes in rad colors, dries quickly and is 89 cents for a four-pack at Target! Kindergarteners don't know how good they got it!

Joy Bounce 2
Charlie Rowe
Courtesy of Podsafe Music Network

Transitions

2007-01-14T10:18:00.000-05:00

Click The Photo or Here For Flash

Or Here for MPEG4/mp4, which I have to say, looks ever so slightly cleaner.

I have a love/hate relationship with the bus. There is nothing worse than schlepping to Port Authority--a little piece of recently renovated hell on Earth-- straight out of work first thing in the morning and standing on line in a stink, bleak basement to take a jam-packed three-and-a-half hour bus trip upstate. I hate it. However, as the trip progresses and you pass the seemingly endless sprawl of Paramus the trees get bigger, the towns get smaller and the distance between them grows wider, I start to love it. Three hours seems like nothing when you end up world's away.

I will, however, make 2007 the Year of Learning How to Drive.*

*Note: I have been saying that sine 1993 when I received my first learner's permit. I've been renewing it every five years. But this time I really mean it.

Musical Bits:
Ministry "Reload", Filth Pig, 1996 Warner Brothers Records
Milton Nacimento "Minas" , Minas, 1976 Water Records
Because these two songs are completely fabulous in totally different ways, just like NYC and Upstate.

Hot Time, Winter in The City...

2007-01-06T21:53:00.000-05:00

Clicky here for Flash!

or here for good ol' Quicktime.

Surely I'm not the only person freaked out by this East Coast weather. Don't get me wrong, it was a beautiful day...but, still...it's just too, too weird.

Not a Resolution, exactly...

2007-01-01T09:46:00.000-05:00

Click the pic (or here) for Flash
Or, Contrariwise, Click Here for mp4

When will the computer issues cease? I do not know. But my recently rebuilt Powerbook is NOT behaving. Complicated hi-tech activities such as cutting & pasting seem to be difficult for the poor little thing. Crashes every day. I'm stumped. But 2007 is going to be a booming videoblogging year for me, dammit, and this computer had better start doing its damn job pronto.

(it just froze again...I think the silver bastard reads my every thought)

Razzle-Dazzle, indeed, Tony!

2006-12-15T09:39:00.000-05:00

Jennifer Holliday: Accept No Substitutes.

Can you imagine performing this number eight times a week? Bet not.

The purest Broadway Magic available. Unearthing gems like this could make a fanatical YouTuber out of me.

(oh yeah, my computer is back in my arms again, naked as the day it was born. I have some serious rebuilding to do this week. All the video projects I was working on were lost, so for now enjoy the Jennifer Holliday!)

Pass the Picalilli

2006-12-10T13:03:00.000-05:00

I am in a deli. I am surrounded by jars of pickled vegetables, instant Nescafe and nuts-by-the-pound. Apparantly while I wasn't looking all the neighborhood bodegas and 99 cent stores began offering internet access for cheap. I have the following options within two blocks of my apartment:

1. This deli. A favorite local Greek spot (currently owned by a pair of devastatingly handsome brothers from Bangladesh) sporting a fabulous selection of feta, olives and international beers. Pros: always smells like fresh Spanakopita, relatively quiet. Cons: uncomfortable chairs, computers reside next to the frozen foods...too cold. No printing.

2. The candy store. One part candy/cigarette/magazine store one part kitchen appliances outlet. This is one of those weird "Everything" stores that are so prevalent in NYC immigrant neighborhoods. You can grab a cup of coffee, pick up a toaster oven and buy a gift for your Mom here...as long as your Mom would appreciate a red rose floating in a snowglobe. Now with internet and color printing! This is a major upgrade for this place: they used to only send faxes. Pros: they do not have a 30 minute minimum like the other places and will allow you 5 minutes for 50 cents. Handy for the late-for-work email check. Cons: constantly busy and noisy because of the Lotto counter.

3. The CyberCenter. This was the first dedicated internet locatation in the neighborhood. There are about 30 computers there, each with a webcam and headphones. I haven't owned a printer since college, so when I went back to nursing school I would email myself my papers and print them here. At $3 for 60 minutes I assumed they'd be out of business in a year, but they're still going strong probably because they charge 50 cents a page to print. Pros: cheapest place in the area. Cons: After 3pm on weekdays it's filled with teenaged boys playing online mano-y-mano videogames at volumes you simply wouldn't believe (the boys, not the games). And they have these weird giant black pleather reclining chairs that are probably great for gaming but are completely shitty for typing. I can't type at such an angle.

With my computer gone for 7-10 days, I'll be spending a lot of time in these internet joints. I have had to make a sort of Computer Contingency Plan: I can check my email twice a day in the neighborhood and catch up on blogs and videoblogs at work so long as it isn't busy and the MDs aren't bugging me to use the unit's only computer for MD-related stuff (they're always claiming that they have work to do! Imagine!).

The bummer about my computer crashing isn't just the disappearance of everything I was working on (I was enjoying a renewed videoblogging fervor and was working on 5 different videos at once; unheard of for me), the annoyance of having to reload 350 cds into iTunes, and tons of photo loss; what really scares me is the distinct possibility that Apple will discover or invent something wrong with the computer that puts me at fault--like finding remnants of bluberry pie filling in my optical drive, for example-- thereby rendering my AppleCare warantee null and void. I can barely sleep because of this. I've been so incredibly careful with that computer, and I've been so good about backing up...until this month, of course. If AppleCare refuses to fix it, the bill will be upwards of $1400. Basically that translates into "buy a new one".

That's a lot of overtime. And it's Christmas. I can't spend that kind of money on myself at Christmas.

But without a computer, I'm not sure I know who I am anymore. Isn't that terribly sad? That's what has really been eating at me lately.

Please kill me.

2006-12-07T16:06:00.000-05:00

There's nothing like coming home from a hard night's work, turning on your computer and having it make an unholy horror-movie-screaming noise to rival Jamie Lee Curtis from her "Halloween" days. It started up okay, made it's little "Happy Mac KaBong" sound, then...nothing. No desktop, no finder, no nothing. Only an apple staring back at me mockingly and a little endlessly spinning graphic. And then the screaming. Loud, maniacal screaming. Grinding of gears...nails on a chalkboard. Evil; a sound that said "You fool! You entrusted me with all your earthly information! Your banking, your photographs, your videos, your music. All the bits of your soul that can be stored on Read-Only Memory! Hah! I have hijacked it all and you will never see it again!Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!"

After I composed myself I waited the 2,560 seconds it took for AppleCare to begin manning the phone lines and ended up with this asshat:

Techie: Your problem is with a Powermac G4?

Me: No, I said it was a Powerbook G4.

Techie: (long pause) So that's a portable computer?

Me: ...

I made my sickly laptop perform for him over the phone and he said he'd never heard anything like it his whole life. Great.

I feel as if my arm has been amputated at the elbow. Y'all may not hear from me for some time. As of now I'm writing this at the local CyberStation surrounded by kids playing Quake or whatever the hell it is that kids are playing these days.

Like I said: please kill me.

Simple Supper

2006-12-06T00:59:00.000-05:00

Spaghetti with pan-fried garlic and pancetta.

- Slice six peeled cloves of garlic uniformly. Sautee in a pan in either unsalted butter or olive oil over a low flame until golden about 6 minutes (don't burn or overcook or else they'll get bitter and burnty). Halfway through, add some chopped pancetta. Or don't, if you're a vegetarian. Remove with slotted spoon to a towel to drain.

- meanwhile, cook spaghetti (I like "thin spaghetti" #9...angel hair isn't strong enough for this).

- drain pasta, toss with butter (not the one you cooked with) or olive oil if you're one of those healthy-types. Add garlic, pancetta and as much freshly grated parmesean cheese as your heart can stand (3-ish tablespoons should do it) and crushed red pepper. I actually use Shichimi Togarashi red pepper mix because it's more finely ground and gives off more flavor than heat.

- top with a sprinkle of parm and chopped fresh parsley. Serves one.

Eat!

(and don't let me catch you with that powdery stuff in the green can...that's not cheese, people)

Carp Caviar 2006...late as per usual.

2006-12-04T02:13:00.000-05:00

Click To Watch In Flash

or, Click Here to watch in Quicktime!

**Warning! Realistic blood and gore! (Because it is real. Duh.)*

November was Carp Caviar promo month, and I am a huge fan of all the carpyfishfun that goes on over at Bottom Union. I am also one of those people who does everything at the last possible moment (I've been procrastinating my whole life; drove my high school teachers nuts. I am not someone you'd want working on a 10th grade group project, or any other grade for that matter).

And so it was this year with my Carp Caviar promo. I didn't gather the footage until after Thanksgiving, and I didn't put the music together until the 28th, then we drove upstate to the house (no internet yet!) and the only available wi-fi is located in the center of town...sitting in the truck in the torrential rain and freezing cold to upload a video just wasn't an appealing option. Also, the connection is weaker than the cocktails at a midtown hotel bar.

Excuses, excuses! So anyway, here it is in it's gory glory. Did I mention it's a wee bit gory? This is not a video for anyone who cannot stand the sight of blood or creepy surgical instruments. You've been warned. If bodily humours give you a case of the howling fantods, watch this or this instead.

musica= "Percussive Onslaught" by MC MissB

Random Hospital-Related Text Post #3

2006-11-30T00:09:00.000-05:00

Me: Unfortunately since you might be in preterm labor, you can't eat anything from this point on. You can suck on some ice chips, though, or your Mom can go downstairs and get you a popsicle if you want.

Pt: I can't eat anything?

Me: Sorry, hon. Just ice.

Pt: Nothing.

Me: Nope.

Pt: Nothing at all?

Me: No.

Pt: Really nothing? Like nothing?

Me: Nothing.

Pt: Not even a salad?

Me: ...

(because this is what converations with 15-year-olds can be like, even when they are pregnant and about to become adults-by-default...sometimes I forget)

Roaster Coaster

2006-11-25T17:45:00.000-05:00

Click here or the Picture for Flash!

Or Click Here for Quicktime! (this is an experiment...let me know if it bombs)

Thanksgiving usually lasts about two weeks in my house.

Music:
"Without You"
CCA
Courtesy of podsafe music network

Apologies for the wicked slow page load! Something is screwy with both Flickr and Blogrolling...I don'r know what to do about it. I may have to can both of them.

So Long, Sucka!

2006-11-09T18:40:00.000-05:00

Click the pic or here to Dance in Quicktime

or Click here to Flail in Flash @ blip.tv

The election results gave me a serious case of happy feet...but the Rumsfeld resignation made my head spin! I am rarely moved by The Power of Dance; I have been known to dance at weddings and also when I bring home a sack of White Castle cheeseburgers.

The resignation of Secretaries of Defenses can now be added to my short list of dance-worthy occasions...or flail-worthy occasions. Flailing followed by brief, sweaty, political commentary.

And yes, my neck really, really really hurts today.

For more election-related good times head over to Dave's Long Box and find out the various political affiliations of your favorite superheroes.

[rumsfeld]

At The Vloggies!

2006-11-05T13:46:00.000-05:00

Click for Quicktime

Click for Flash at blip.tv!

Slowly coming down from my post-Vloggies high...recovering from my post-Vloggies hangover.
I was so busy having fun that this is actually the only video I captured for the evening. BIG kudos to Irina for pulling it all together and congrats to all the winners!

I done been tagged.

2006-10-31T10:19:00.000-05:00

And I have to say this is the first one I've ever not intentionally ignored! Okay:

1. Grab the nearest book. If you are currently reading something, that'll be fine too.

2. Open the book to page 123.

3. Find the fifth sentence.

4. Post the text of the next 4 sentences on your Blog along with these instructions.

5. Don't you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet I know that is what you were thinking!

"It drives us, for lack of a better term, coo coo. And part of the reason we struggle is because there is no hard-and-fast clarity about what qualifies as cool. It needs to be original, but only semi-original: It would be legitimately inventive (and kind of "out there") to casually walk around with a petrified orangutan under your arm for no apparent reason, but this would only seem cool to a select class of performance artist. A better choice would be a t-shirt featuring the cast of After M*A*S*H."

Ironic that the paragraph pertains to the definition of cool (see rule #5 above)

OR 360

2006-10-27T11:19:00.000-04:00

Click Le Pic for Le Quick(time)!
Click here for Flash at Le blip.tv!

I've been absent. I needed some grieve-time. Thanks so much for all the warm wishes and kind condolences--they did not go unnoticed, although they may have gone unanswered.

I'm back now. Feeling a little more together and less weepyshakey. I feel more like myself, but still a little "off". I have been working a great deal to save $$ for the house that we're supposedly purchasing--we've been burned before so I won't believe it until someone hands us the keys. And even then I may not believe it until our first propane bill. Perhaps we can forgo paying for heat if we just set up a yurt in the yard. Have I mentioned the yard? Anyways, the extra work is a nice distraction. Being on vacation is even nicer. 12 hospital-free days. Ahhh...some peace.

The underlying story of this video will have little meaning to non-L&D-nurse-types, so I won't get into it (Dawn, you just wouldn't believe me if I told you...or perhaps you would) but suffice it to say that it shouldn't have happened.

Backround Beeping provided by :
GE / Corometrics Fetal Monitor Model 118
Philips/HP Viridia CMS M1176A or something that looks a heck of a lot like it.

Miss you already...

2006-10-08T20:12:00.000-04:00

Quicktime Here

and Flash available here.

Today was Miss Maisie's last day on Earth. She was a terrific friend who would never think to ask for anything from you but the other half of your sandwich. She loved noogies and red licorice. She was warm and soft and always there for me.

I miss her terribly already and it hasn't even been a whole day.

'Zac.

2006-10-03T23:22:00.000-04:00

Play Quicktime

or Flash via blip.tv!

Sometimes you have to know when to call in the professionals. This is one of those times.

(I do realize that I am, in fact, a professional myself. It doesn't mean that I get taken seriously or that my health advice ever gets followed. Hey nurses: feel free to add to the public shaming but don't be too hard on him...oh, nevermind. Be as harsh as you want!)

Aside: this is the first video shot entirely on my new cell phone. It actually looks better than I expected, but it sounds like hell.

[prozac]

Duh.

2006-09-30T18:00:00.000-04:00

Click here or pic to Play Teensy Quicktime file of my dim light bulb moment.
Or here, to head for the flash at blip.tv

Life isn't always all that interesting.

Maisiebear

2006-09-23T17:33:00.000-04:00

Click the pic or here for Quicktime

Or here for Flash at blip.tv--The Place To Be!

The Bad news: Miss Maisie's cancer is back and she's starting to fade.

The Good news: we're working hard to make sure her last weeks involve plenty of outside time, extra cuddling and roast beef heros.

We drove Maisie up to the Rockefeller State Park the other day and had some nice quiet time in the woods. She's such a city dog, she didn't quite have any idea what to do with herself off-leash. I think she had a nice time. All three of us needed a break from the stress we've been under (house flip-flopping, fatal illness, job loathing, impending-birthday-aging-dread). The park was lovely and huge and empty.

On a technical note, I have no idea why the quality of this video stinks so badly. Same camera, same compression settings, I'm baffled. I'm working on it. It bugs me.

Jungle Boogie

2006-09-21T21:35:00.000-04:00

And there you have it. NYC shopping at it's very best. Not one but TWO customers examining the goods!

Finally armed with a camera phone (and I was crazy enough to claim for years that I didn't need one...was I insane?) I will be bringing more strange NYC moments to the MMMofM. Sweet action!

Fresh onto the scene!

2006-09-20T15:34:00.000-04:00

Future SIL and BIL blogs!

(that is to say that they are my future brother-in-law and sister-in-law...the blogs themselves are not from the future...they are firmly rooted in the present)

A Chanteuse in London

An American (temporarily) in Bangkok

That b$%@# is crazy!

2006-09-17T23:39:00.000-04:00

Click the pic for Flash!

You may already be familiar with my neighbor. Well, she's at it again. I found the strength to open my front door a crack and record her in stereo from the hallway. Yikes.

No videos starring me or my honey of late, I know. Why? Because we are miserably heartbroken and I see little point in documenting our sorrow for posterity. The "buying a house" deal has utterly fallen through ("Thanks US Government! You are the suckiest suck who ever sucked!"), my Maisie's health is on the wane, 9/11 is a perennial emotional doozy, a dearly departed friend's birthday just past and her absence is keenly felt and my childhood home is up for sale.

It's hard to vlog when everything is so crappy. In the meanwhile, enjoy the upcoming short string of food porn, New York City scenes and dog videos.

I'm just not feeling like myself. Actually, she sounds like I feel.

Non-Post

2006-09-13T11:51:00.000-04:00

I had a video all set to go for September 11th and I just couldn't post it. I don't exactly know why. Just too much, I guess. Maybe I'll post it next year.

"You shouldn't give away your pie with breakfast...makes you look cheap."

2006-09-05T13:06:00.001-04:00

Click the pic or here to play in Quicktime

Click here to watch in Flash on blip.tv. Blip.tv kicks butt!

For pie:
1/2 cup white sugar
3 tablespoons cornstarch
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon
2 tsp lemon juice
5 cups fresh blueberries
1 recipe pastry for a 9 inch single crust pie
For topping:
3/4 stick (6 tablespoons) cold unsalted butter
3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 cup granulated sugar
1/4 cup brown sugar

Preheat oven to 425 F

Mix sugar, cornstarch, salt, cinnamon, and lemon juice and sprinkle over blueberries in a bowl. Mix gently.

Cut sliced cold butter into other topping ingredients in a seperate bowl until crumbly. You can use your fingers, two knives, or a pastry cutter to do this.

Line 9" pie dish with pie crust. Crimp edges. Pour berry mixture into the crust, top with crumb topping.

Bake pie on lower shelf of oven for about 40 minutes, or until top is golden brown and bubbly. After 20 minutes check edges for overbrowning...cover them with foil if you desire. Let sit one hour before slicing, or you'll get a sort of blueberry crumb stew.

Enjoy your sexy pie with fresh whipped cream or ice cream!

Flushed

2006-08-29T16:59:00.000-04:00

You can also click here to play in Quicktime in a new window, if you are so inclined.

And if you are Dawn, you can click here for the Flash version hosted by blip.tv!

I never was a pot-girl. I always preferred booze. Still do. Cocktails have cool names and come in pretty colors and sometimes have little paper umbrellas in them! Ever see a paper umbrella sticking out of a spliff? I doubt it. I've never smoked tobacco, either, so back in the day (aka "College: The Early Years") it just made logical sense to smoke nothing at all, so I never picked it up. I have always considered myself lucky to have a non-addictive personality.

Some aren't so lucky.

sidenote: looking back at this footage (taken in a hotel room last week in Hudson, NY on our Great American House Search From Hell) I'm amazed that I had no reaction to My fiancee's decision to reach into the toilet and splash around. No squealing, no "eeeeeeeeeewww!!!", no nothing. Should I be concerned that I am so accepting of his personality quirks that his reaching into a hotel toilet seems to be such a typical Brian manoeuvre that I don't give it a second thought? Is that gross, or is that love?

The Hunt

2006-08-25T03:10:00.000-04:00

Click the picture of my would-be backyard or here for Quicktime--works best with Firefox!

You can also watch in Flash here at blip.tv!

If owning a home is the American Dream then looking for a home must surely be the American Nightmare. Great house? Bad street. Bad house? Great land! Nice yard but no porch. Big lot but no fence. Good house, good land, but no town. We've seen all manner of house/land/town combinations and we've only been at this for two weeks. We're exhausted and drained, our heads hurt and we squabble constantly. He wants acres and I want to be able to walk to get a cup of coffee and a newspaper. We still have a lot to figure out.

That lovely parcel of land you see in that photo was nestled by a small creek in Catskill, NY. The drawback? The house was a total re-do, and not just the insanely painted rooms and scuzzy 70's carpet, either! Both the bathroom and kitchen would need to be completely replaced, the second floor wasn't heated properly, the pink insulation had been installed upside-down and there was a half-assed joist in the basement that may or may not have been holding up the whole house. To top it all off Brian noticed a man surveying the creek as our realtor gave us the grand tour. Apparantly he was gathering information for the condos that were being built there. So much for that. The other House of Horrors featured in the video had more skylights than you could possibly want--it was almost as if the whole roof was transparent. In August? Oppressively hot. It was like being in a big glass pizza oven with bad carpeting.

There was one house in Hudson that was very nearly perfect and I fell madly in love with it even though I did not fall madly in love with Hudson: a cute little colonial with perfect wide-slat wood floors, vintage light fixtures, a nice back yard and a barn.

Of course it's on a truck route.

"busted frog"
.22
Courtesy of the Podsafe Music Network

You leave me...Breakless-aahhh!

2006-08-16T16:07:00.000-04:00

click here or above for Quicktime
or here for Flash at BlipTV

If this one is a little dark because it was, in fact, filmed in the dark. I lightened it up a little, but it's terribly grainy. Sorry. This one's more for the audio, anyhow.

It has been sheer hell at work these last several days. For whatever reason, an excess of mid-winter nookie, the astonishing changes in barometric pressure after that thunderstorm this past week, the full moon, and who knows why else, there has been a sharp increase in the baby-havin' at my hospital. That would be fine except that there has been an accompanying sharp decrease in nursing staff. Why? It's Summer. Those who hold a grudge about not getting any Summer Vacation have chosen to abuse their sick time privilages. Folks are cancelling their overtime left and right, and one of our RN's got exposed to the chicken pox and has been determined to be non-immune and has been quarantined. For two weeks. Did administration cover her shifts? No. So on a floor that should be staffed by eight nurses at all times (and really, we're lucky to ever have six anyway) we've been running with four or five. It's stressful. Actually, it's damn near impossible, but somehow we pull it off. I've decided to attempt to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem by forcing myself to show up to work instead of calling out sick because I'm so burnt out...I hate to say it but it's not an easy decision to make.

On the night I filmed this, the five of us managed to help get everyone delivered as safely as possible given the circumstances (every day this week I've come home and kissed my nursing license because no patient has yet suffered from our lack of staff thus lessening my chances of being sued and keeping my malpractice insurance costs nice and low) and the Charge Nurse managed for us all to get breaks--no small feat.

But with a full house, there's noplace to take a break except the nurses' lounge which is across from all the delivery rooms. Not exactly a quiet place to rest, as you'll see. How can you rest with a patient screaming "IhateyouIhateyouIhateyougetitoutgetitoutgetitoutwhywon'tyouHELPME???!!!" over and over combined with the cheerless cheering to "push!" by that night's less-than-stellar resident team?

Please know that although the MD comes into the hall screaming for a nurse to come in the room that I didn't rush to my feet because I knew there already WAS a nurse in the room and that for some reason although there were THREE residents in the patient's room and only ONE nurse those bozos STILL expected THE NURSE to page the attending.

I really don't like that MD team. They just don't mesh well, they don't know how to talk to patients ("No yelling! No yelling!" are you kidding me??) and they treat us like poo.

In Which I demonstrate why perhaps I should not have children...

2006-08-12T16:31:00.000-04:00

click the picture or here for Quicktime or here for a Flash version over at blip.tv!

Getting married. Talking about getting married necessitates talk of having children. Talking about having children causes me to reflect on how I have raised my pets; which then, in turn, makes me think about reasons I should NOT have children.

Yes, this video may seem a little long at 2:25", but in reality, getting my scaredy-dog to walk passed the cat lying on the floor took ten whole minutes. Ten.

Ten.

"Car Ride"
Julia Nonet's Woodwind String Orchestra
Marty Buttwinick
Podsafe Music Network

Random Wedding-Related Text Post #1

2006-08-07T01:54:00.000-04:00

I'm just flabbergasted by this.

I actually get a kick out of Weddingbee nyc. I like that they're in New York and they have some terrific links to neat DIY projects and nifty cost-cutting ideas that I'm way too lazy to scout out myself. And I like that it's a friendly blog managed by real live ladies with no corporate agenda. We've all heard stories about well-intentioned, sensible women who start planning weddings and suddenly careen over the deep-end, but o' sweet cheeses! Trotting down to the post office to request that they cancel each and every stamp on each and every wedding invitation is a whole new brand of Super-Crazy. All for the trivial fear of...dare I even say it...smudging!?

(okay...I also understand that there is widespread worry regarding those chubby invitations getting caught in USPS sorting machinery...well, between the invitation, the RSVP card, the tissue paper between the invitation and the RSVP card, the SASE, the map, the local hotel list, the tissue paper between the map and the hotel list, the dried rose petals and the velvet bow tying it all together there is reason to worry! How about just an invitation and an RSVP? Mail the rest seperately! Sure, it would cost more in postage, but at least you could sleep at night knowing your expensive envelopes wouldn't get disembowled! The tissue paper is a real stumper for me. Is it in poor taste to have all those cards rubbing up against each other freely like they're in some kind of stationery orgy? And really, what's with the bow? Isn't holding all the papers together why envelopes were invented in the first place? I just don't get it.)

How does this happen? How have we created a whole generation of women hell-bent on this kind of perfection? It's an invitation! An envelope! I realize that it may be a relatively expensive envelope, as far as envelopes go, but hey--no one held a pistol to your head and forced you to buy them. It's not like the recipient is going to reach into their mailbox, look at the machine-cancelled stamp and shudder

"Oh, God, no. They seemed like such nice people, it's too bad I can't attend their wedding. This invite is just too smudgy."

I guess what I'm really asking is not "How does this happen" but rather, "Will it happen to me?"

Main Street, USA!

2006-08-05T00:00:00.000-04:00

**Help a sister out! If you are attempting to watch this from my site with Safari and cannot see this video and usually you don't have that problem, PLEASE let me know!**

Click the picture or here for Quicktime!

Since the city finally cooled to 89 degrees, I felt I could venture out of the house for a much-desired special snack. Bahn Mi is my most favorite sandwich, and I've been thinking about them nonstop since Nathan Miller's announcement that he would be travelling in Vietnam for two weeks in August. When I was toodling around Vietnam in 2001, I ate them every day. The crunchy, salty, sweet, spicy, savory combination of pork, daikon, pork, cucumber, pork, carrots, pork, cilantro, pork and hot peppers on a fresh baguette is pure sandwich heaven! A 40 minute subway ride is a small price to pay to enjoy such riches!

There are fine Bahn Mi to be had in the not-so-nearby section of Queens known as Flushing. It's an incredibly large and ethnically diverse neighborhood--Chinese, Korean, South Asian, SE Asian, Philipino and Latin Americans are all represented there. Flushing's Chinese population apparently surpasses that of Chinatown.

When some people hear the phrase "Main Street, USA", it evokes a quaint avenue that runs through the center of town, complete with a General Store, a Mom & Pop Cafe, and lined with big oak trees. Or maybe it makes them think of Disneyworld. When I hear "Main Street" my thoughts turn to Twice-Cooked Pork, DanDan Noodles, 24 Hour Korean Barbeque, outrageously cheap and fresh produce, refreshing and chewy Bubble Tea, and a whole mess of retail signage that I can't decipher. And, of course, Bahn Mi.

I love Main Street.

Music:
"South China Sea"
Steve Doctor
Courtesy of Podsafe Music Network!

Hot Time, Summer in the City

2006-08-02T16:56:00.000-04:00

**Hey! If you are attempting to watch this from my site with Safari and cannot see this video and usually you don't have that problem, PLEASE let me know!**

Or Click Here to Play Quicktime version

You can also click here for Flash!
It's hotter than Bangkok in April. I eat nothing but popsicles and I feel as if my brain has turned into cheese. Soft, melty cheese.

"Are you sure that wasn't just a big frog?"

2006-07-18T16:50:00.000-04:00

click here to for Quicktime if the movie won't play when you click the picture!

Or, click here for Flash, if Flash is what works for you!

FYI, big frogs don't usually have so many teeth. Objects in the video were closer that they appear. Seriously. There was a plank walkway along the swamp which could be crossed by aligators at any moment. I don't know if the they ever do, but it was creepy enough to know that they could.

This tidbit is from back in May when we were still in New Orleans. I haven't posted much in the last couple of weeks (Bad vlogger! Naughty, bad, bad!) for a couple of reasons.

A: I've been working and picking up OT in order to save up money to move to a bigger apartment

B: been to a delightful out of town wedding (congratulations Michael & Tara!)

C: attempting to convince my boyfriend fiancee that we should elope. That's pretty much a full-time job in itself!

It's also wicked hot in the Northeast--100 today-- and I'm hard-pressed to be motivated to do anything more than lie very, very still and eat many, many popsicles.

I've also downloaded a whole mess of cool iMovie plug-ins that I've been fiddling with and learning how to use. All the better to vlog with, my dear.

Hat Dance!

2006-07-02T00:04:00.000-04:00

click either that ridiculous picture of me or here for Quicktime.

(No Quicktime? Click here for Flash.)

Going out to dinner in Chelsea for Brian's Birthday brought us to the 23rd Street stop of the N/W subway line. Many of the city's stations are decorated; murals, sculptures, poems, bas-reliefs, paintings and interactive pieces can be found all over town. Much of the artwork is crafted right into the tile walls, like it is at 23rd Street, and much of the artwork is directly related to the station it's housed in. There's a terrific photo collection of NYC Subway art here, or you can wait patiently until I take more footage of stations throughout the year.

I'm crazy about this station. I'm also crazy about my boyfriend, partly because he has no qualms about behaving like a total geek in public with me. Huge bonus.

Saturday in the Park With Maisie

2006-07-01T21:01:00.000-04:00

Gorgeous day in the city today: gently warm and not the least bit humid. Maisie and I took a several-hours-long walk through beautiful Western Queens...okay, not all of it was beautiful, some of it was industrial and sort of barren. Armed with a large bottle of water and a Godfather hero (salami, cappicola, prosciutto, sopressata, provelone, lettuce, onions, sweet peppers,tomato, oil, vinegar, salt, pepper, oregano, mayo) we set forth toward Socrates Sculpture Park. A neat little spot about 25 blocks away with cool large-scale art and a killer view of Manhattan. It's a terrific place to enjoy a sandwich with your dog. Then I got ambitious: we headed north-ish toward Astoria Park and enjoyed the greenery and scenery there, too. I figured since it was such a nice day, why not? Well, Miss Maisie is no spring chicken, and got tuckered out pretty quickly. This was probably the most walking she's done at once in years. She took frequent water breaks and I took lots of pictures and once we reached Astoria Pool we treated ourselves to hotdogs (onions & mustard for me, plain for her) and a cherry Marino's Italian ice (complete with little wooden spoon).

Once home, we fell into a furry heap onto the floor. Both of us.

Decisions, decisions...

2006-06-21T17:03:00.000-04:00

Watch the video

We ain't moving. And that's that. Why? Why? Why not move into a giant, lovely house that oozes potential and is currently hemorrhaging money? Why stay in NYC in my cramped apartment snidely nicknamed "The Shoebox"? Because, dammit, it's dangerous in New Orleans, that's why! The freakin' National Guard have been called back! There have been 54 murders (six this week!) and a section of a New Orleans neighborhood has been dubbed "The Triangle of Death"! I've lived in New York City my whole life and there's NEVER been a neighborhood saddled with a nickname like that.

About week before I left to return to NYC we found a posting in our local coffee haunt: a full typed page list of local crimes. Two weeks...one full typed page. And these weren't just little crimes. These weren't purse-snatchings. These were desperate, vicious and frightening. Stabbings, dogs being swiped from yards, people getting robbed at gunpoint, people getting robbed at knifepoint, people getting robbed at knifepoint on their own front porches, break-ins--one house got broken into twice in one week! On that single typed page there were three seperate attacks on pedestrians by a gang of young men brandishing a lead pipe wrapped in a towel. Three! In two weeks! They weren't even out for anyone's wallet--they're just out to bust heads. I don't have any idea why they bother with the towel...perhaps bonking people in the head with a naked pipe is too noisy. All of this occcured within 5 square blocks of the house within two weeks.

All that and hurricanes, too? Nope.

Deciding not to move was not an easy decision. Brian has a long history with New Orleans, and a lot of emotion wrapped up in that house. I don't have any ties to it, but I really like New Orleans. I love its funky charm and it's balls-out weirdness. I like that it's all rickety-looking and battle-scarred and slow and sultry and hot. I like the people. I love that our neighborhood reaction to the crime includes a sidewalk ceremony held in the name of Ogou Achade, The Voodoo Patron of Iron And The Forge**, although I'd rather people felt comfortable calling the police, instead. I hate the giant insects, but I figured I could learn to live with the idea of them once we'd hermetically sealed the house as best we could. I thought it would be a good idea for me--a lifelong New York City gal with a rock-solid, impenetrable, liberal, Northern, East Coast backround to spend some time in The South for a change of pace. And every day...no, really every hour after we made the decision to leave something charming and singularly New Orleans-ish would makes us pause and reconsider...until that ol' lead pipe story would creep back into our heads to bonk us back into reality.

In this instance, it was a raspberry Sno-Ball enjoyed in Audobon Park.

**You think I can make this stuff up? Hardly.

Precious Vloggercon Karaoke Moments

2006-06-19T09:08:00.000-04:00

Watch the video

Really, this is self-explanatory...no supporting text necessary other than to say that my duet with the lovely and talented Anne Walk** cannot be seen here. How was I supposed to read the lyrics off the prompter, sing and and film myself at the same time? Oh, that footage is out there someplace...

(actually, we were pretty darn good!!)

Fine, fine performances all around!

**Sonny to my Cher? Cher to my Sonny? We may never know...

Vloggeron Noteable Quoteables

2006-06-16T18:46:00.000-04:00

click here for Quicktime!

I've been home for four days now and I'm STILL riding out my Vloggercon "high"...I just can't shake it. It was just that fabulous. It was so overwhelming and I met so many fantastic, creative & passionate people and I learned so much. And I met all the vlogmen that I've been crushing on for ages! Y'all know who you are.** Although I was so excited to go, I was a little bit nervous right up until the last minute. What a strange opportunity: to finally meet people you feel you already know! Do you run up and hug them ? (yes) Do you gush about how much you love their work? (yes, although I got all shy and forgot to do this 80% of the time) I was quite comforted (and slightly surprised) to find that everyone was exactly as I expected. Everyone I met in the Videoblogging community is representing themselves as-is. No cover-ups. No nasty surprises. I wish all folks deported themselves with such honesty.

Ironically, I didn't do all that much videotaping! I didn't even take nearly as many stills as I should have--I was far too busy soaking it all in. I did manage to capture some moments from a few of the sessions I attended, and a small sample of those can be seen here. Jay Dedman, Jan McLaughlin, Dave Toole, Ryanne Hodson, Linda, Bev Sykes, Josh Leo, Dave Huth, Susan Kitchens, Jennifer Myronuk, Jen Simmons and Juan Antonio del Rosario are all here. For me, the whole point of Vloggercon was summed up by Jay in three little words...you're supposed to go watch the video now to find out what they are.

The Vloggercon karaoke video is another animal altogether...and it's coming tomorrow...

**ok, so, if you don't know, that would be Josh, Dave, Anthony, Carl, Josh, Chris, Jay and Chuck and yes: I am fully aware that most if not all of you are spoken for. I'm not a tramp...I just really think y'all are the coolest and cutest dudes around...and that's just the GUYS!! We'd be here all day if I had to list all my gay crushes, too!

vloggercon

Vloggercon!

2006-06-11T15:00:00.000-04:00

Marlene & Greg's SF view on a clear day...
Originally uploaded by missbhavens.

After five days in San Francisco I've come to the conclusion that THIS is the city for me. So what if the weather changes from one hour to the next or even from one block to the next? I'm staying with my dear friends Marlene & Greg in the Haight and actually we have yet to get out of the neighborhood at all. It's a charming, neat-looking town with more vintage clothing shops than any city has a right to have! I'm here for Vloggercon having a blast, learning a lot and meeting all my favorite vloggers. It's been surreal.

Pictures & Video to follow...

Housing problem? Gee, what housing problem?

2006-06-05T13:59:00.000-04:00

click here for Quicktime

"The challenge of rebuilding New Orleans and providing housing for its residents is immense, with tens of thousands of families displaced, their former homes destroyed or damaged beyond repair. Across the metropolitan area, nearly 228,000 homes and apartments were flooded, including 39 percent of all owner-occupied units and 56 percent of all rental units (Brookings 2005). Residents have returned to some relatively unscathed areas, such as the French Quarter and Algiers, but the devastation in more hard-hit areas is overwhelming and it is not yet clear whether or how these areas will be rebuilt."

Barely 30 minutes outside New Orleans on our way to Jean Lafitte National Park there is a massive housing boom. One giant brand new cookie-cutter home after another, only several yards apart, some in gated communities, some freestanding, few lived in. They're going up so fast I was pretty sure there were new ones finished by the time we drove back home.

You know what's being built/rebuilt in New Orleans? Seemingly nothing. Where are regular working folks supposed to live?

There's always something flying around the house...

2006-05-26T16:23:00.000-04:00

click the picture or here for Quicktime!

It's always something around here...and usually it has wings.

I got the blues...

2006-05-22T13:06:00.000-04:00

or click here to experience the creepiness

The other day started off with opening the kitchen trash and finding hundreds and hundreds of squirming maggots (I drowned 'em in Clorox...nothing can live in Clorox for long, right?), and then ended with the insect encounter you see here. It was not a good day.

I'm getting more than a little tired of the critter situation down here.

I'll make an effort to post some videos from New Orleans that don't involve vermin or household accidents from now on. I really will. But I can't make any promises.

"Bugs"
The Detonators
Courtesy of The Podsafe Music Network

Care Package

2006-05-18T15:35:00.000-04:00

or click here!

Care packages rock. There's nothing better than receiving an unexpected box in a plain brown wrapper...especially ifyou open it and find a whole mess of snacks! I have really cool friends.

A brief update: Brian's hand is doing just fine. The man has mutant healing abilities. We're pretty much done making our little apt. functionable. Hot water, fans, a/c, stove and fridge are all now in working order. The perimeter is more or less secure--or, at least, it's as secure as it's going to get for now. All spare entry points to the house have been closed off to anything larger than a cat, and the fence is very nearly finished. I feel a lot safer all around. Lonely and bored (Brian is out of town for a few days), but safer.

"05-Harmonie-Chaos" by Vincent Bergeron
podsafe music network

my little green babies

2006-05-17T16:11:00.000-04:00

my new babies
Originally uploaded by missbhavens.

Behold, my new kitchen herbs windowbox! Having spent the last ten years living in a big city batcave, this excites me to no end. I haven't the slightest clue as to what I'm doing, but the guy at the local plantstore (which specializes in aquatic gardening ..Brian's head is spinning at the idea of a pond with lilies in the yard) said that these herbs could co-exist in a box if I'm very careful about watering them and keeping the peppermint in control.

Apparantly peppermint likes to be the boss of the other herbs and tries to take over.

I'd like to see him try.

Herb bully.

Girl I'll House You (you in my hut now)

2006-05-15T19:10:00.000-04:00

either click on the pic, or here!

This is all footage from my first day here at the house in New Orleans. I was very freaked out and very whiny. I'm still freaked out, but far less whiny.

It's just so very overwhelming. Sometimes we laugh about it: simply NOTHING in this place works the way it should. Not the doors (they don't sit right), the windows (they lack glass), the fridge (freezer works, fridge doesn't) the hot water heater, etc. etc. Everything is a ten-step process, even things like fixing a glass of water. The complete inability to have a glass of water is what sent me into full freak-out mode Tuesday. No clean glasses--not hot water to clean the glass--no soap--no ice--no desire to drink New Orleans H20 straight from the tap blah, blah, blah. A lot of my frustration stems from the fact that the last time I was here I knew where everything was, I cleaned everything (EVERYTHING), bought a bunch of new stuff (towels, pots, pans, plates) and made our little construction site into a workable home. When I returned, everything--and I mean everything; all the furniture, all our clothes, all our kitchen stuff--had been piled high into two rooms, left uncovered, and was filthy, covered with mouse turds, moldy, rusted and rotten AND had to be moved into the apartment on the side of the house where we will be living until "our" side of the house is finished. Including major appliances. I'm also covered with mosquito bites (and some other teeny bites which I'm very worried might be fleas--how gross is that?!), particularly around my ankles so my feet are all swollen...physical discomfort ain't helping. I'm slightly ashamed to admit I spent some time in the fetal position weeping. I just didn't know where to start. Now, five days later, the apartment is much better and I am much calmer. We have groceries, hot water, cable internet, and a working refrigerator. What more could a girl want? Of course, the power still goes off sometimes. That pushes my freak button because of all the food in the fridge. And, of course, because then the modem won't work.

And then there's the safety issue. There are current about 34 differently sized entry points into this house. Some are bug-sized, some are bird-sized, some are cat-sized and some are people-sized. A woman was the victim of an armed robbery on her own damn porch a few weeks ago, and the dude next door came out of his house yesterday to find his car missing. Brian has to be in NYC for five days this week, so he's working hard to "secure the perimeter". I expect that to be a highly productive videoblogging period, because it will keep me busy and make me feel in touch with the outside world. I really, really, REALLY need to learn how to drive.

...and have I mentioned the giant, flying roaches??

An important word about the house: most of the "damage" you see is a gut renovation in progress that started before Katrina hit town. The roof went totally kaplooey and has (mostly) been replaced, and there's some water damage to the concrete foundation of the house. Obviously, compared to other areas of town (and actually, even compared to houses across the street, which took on a foot of water) we got off easy. I don't want to give the wrong impression here: we aren't the big victims, here. The house got damaged, yes, but it's standing. That goes a long way round these parts.

"If there was ever a moment for a ruckus to be raised..."

2006-05-13T21:49:00.000-04:00

...now is the moment.

Y'all are bloggers and vloggers...surely you understand what's at stake, here.

Bywater Stigmata

2006-05-12T00:52:00.000-04:00

or click here for the gore!

It was bound to happen, although I didn't expect it to happen so soon. Bear witness to our first house renovation work-related injury. Actually, it's not the first...just the first documented (at his insistence). Prior to dating a vlogger, injuries include electrocution barefoot on a metal ladder while holding a crowbar and drilling his thumb to a wall with a screwgun.** This will be my first video post that comes with a disclaimer: a) there's some heartfelt and entirely appropriate swearing (although by me and not the injured, oddly) and b) watch this at your own risk. It's pretty gross. You'll see grosser things on "Fear Factor", but if impalement freaks you out, this is not for you. Think of this as a sort of "Fear Factor"/"This Old House" mash-up. Maybe Brian can start his own videoblog and call it "This Old House Just Bit Me.com". Let it be known, I really wasn't looking while filming the majority of this video. Because, well, eeeewwwwwwww!

For the nurses and nurses-to-be: we were too caught up in the moment to realize that he shouldn't have clipped both ends of the splinter to remove it. I work in L&D, people: wounds are not my thing.

**Sitting over my shoulder, Brian would like to point out that he knows EXACTLY what he's doing, housewise.

A View From The Bridge

2006-05-10T01:07:00.000-04:00

you can click here to watch the video, too, if you are so inclined!

I've been out of sorts, lately, and haven't been able to post anything these last several days. After finishing up a long run of night shifts I took the train to DC Friday first thing in the morning to attend my honey's art opening at the Arts Club of Washington (there'll be video on that experience later), then he drove us back to New York that very same night. Saturday was spent preparing for his zillion mile non-stop drive to New Orleans in his 10 mi/gal pick-up with both the pets, and Sunday marked the start of the drive--a rage-inducing, hellishly frustrating experience due to a near-complete inability to escape from New York because of the 2006 Five Boro Bike Tour. To add to the fun, Maisie always throws up all over the car when they reach a certain part of Central Jersey. Poor man arrived pretty much just in time to pick me up from the airport. The house is in a state I can't begin to describe** and we're both freaked out, exhausted, cash poor and on the verge of twin nervous breakdowns. (there'll be video on that experience, as well.) And it's HOT! Like Africa Hot. And it's only May 9th. This worries me greatly.

Excuses, excuses. Enough, already. This is the footage I took on my last shift at work. The view is lovely (although the windows could sure use a washing) and it's a nice place to take in a New York sunrise. I think I'll be watching this video on auto-repeat during my stay here in New Orleans. This place has already shoved me over the edge and I've only been here 10 hours.

**Not like an "As seen on CNN-hole cut through the roof for an escape hatch-eight feet of water-destroyed by flood-Category 5" kind of state, but still, really, really f*#&ing difficult state. When complaining about the house in New Orleans I try and maintain some perspective. At least the house is still here.

You know when your haircut grows out and it's in that in-between stage? This house is in an in-between stage. It's like "house puberty" in here. This house is as disheveled, dirty, broken and confused as a twelve-year-old boy. But there is DSL. Thanks God for small miracles.

more big dog and small dog!

2006-04-27T20:25:00.000-04:00

big dog and small dog
Originally uploaded by www.nyc2005.de.

You've seen the video, yes? Well, Janina in Bavaria, Germany sent me this Flickr pic that she took on a trip to NYC in 2005...surely it's the same pair! It's a small world afterall!

Taxes: Signed, Sealed Delivered...Almost

2006-04-25T17:31:00.000-04:00

or click here to view!

FINALLY! Finished up with my taxes. Actually, they've been finished a long while, I just hadn't mailed them. This is true of a lot of things. I'm embarrassed to report how many times my cable has been shut of because the check is languishing in the bottom of my bag. I'm not very motivated when it comes to paying bills. Not proud of it, just really not as concerned as I ought to be.

And I'm mad that the IRS ended up with some of my cutest postage stamps.

BAMart Silent Auction

2006-04-23T17:29:00.000-04:00

BAM!

An amazing collection of artwork is available at the 2nd annual BAMart Silent Auction. If you're in NYC, go view the works and bid live and up close. If not, check them out and bid online! A wide range of art in a wide range of prices. I'm partial to this guy's work, but my opinion is a little biased: he makes me laugh and frequently walks my dog. Hey--I don't know much about art, but I did get a B- in Art History 101, a B+ in Modern Art 201, and a B in Modern Architecture during "College: The Early Years". And I know what I like!

NYC Tidbits

2006-04-20T12:14:00.000-04:00

or click here to watch!

New York City, although it has been pissing me off lately, is still one fabulous town. Come share some distinctly NYC activities: A perfect Spring day in Central Park. Counting used condoms in The Lake. Meat-on-a-stick (my boyfriend calls them "steak tips" but really, any meat-on-a-stick that's $2 probably doesn't fit into the "steak" category. I won't eat it). The view from the N train as it glides over the Manhattan Bridge. A night at the 2006 Brooklyn Underground Film Festival, which was super cool.

Super suave Video Pop-Up courtesy of Freevlog! Sweet action!

Random Hospital-Related Text Post #2

2006-04-17T18:05:00.000-04:00

Overheard on the Labor & Delivery Unit, 4/17/06 Overnight Tour

Patient's Boyfriend With Limited English Skills: Where comes from things my wife need to go to bathroom?
Nurse's Aide: (taking a "logic leap" and bring the man a pack of Kotex, this being a labor and delivery floor, and all) Here you go...they're called "pads".
PBWLES: (looking confused) No. (pointing to his feet) Socks!

Moral of the story: Sometimes "going to the bathroom" literally means "walking to the bathroom".

When did my life get so normal?

2006-04-14T15:12:00.000-04:00

Click for video, please, thank you.

I have no idea what's happened to me. I used to lead a fast and almost semi-glamourous life here in NYC. High heels. Cocktails. Late nights. Now all I want to do is get back to New Orleans and finish polyurethaning the floors.

Does this mean I'm all grown up? I don't know how I feel about that.

This is one from the vaults. I'm still playing around with the new camera and since I'm working the next four nights I doubt I'll be able to edit and post any of it--especially with this rotten cold abrewin'. There's this resident at work who has been sick and she does this thing where she sneezes into the open air, or whatever else is in front of her: the computer, the patient charts, me. She says doesn't sneeze into her hands because she needs to keep them as clean as possible. Umm...oookkaaaayy. So she's ignoring the advent of both soap AND Purell, AND she didn't take my suggestion that she turn and sneeze into her shoulder, an old trick I learned back in my ice-cream scooping days. So she just hurls her germs in all directions, prompting one of the other nurses to follow her with a paper towel and a bottle of Mixed Berry Mistolin. It's nasty and now the whole ward smells like Jolly Ranchers.

Have a very happy, Happy Easter and Passover. I'll miss this holiday weekend, but Orthodox Easter the Big One in my neighborhood anyways, so I'll enjoy that when it rolls around.

Videoblogging Week 2006--null link

2006-04-10T13:51:00.001-04:00

My last posting for Videoblogging Week 2006 was stopped dead in its tracks by my attendence at a dear friend's wedding in Central Park. The bride looked gorgeous, the groom was dashing, the weather couldn't be beat, and there was so much joy in the room it nearly busted down the walls.

Videoblogging Week 2006 #5--Spend Dangerously

2006-04-08T21:59:00.000-04:00

Today, $60 flew out of my pocket like it had wings. It was sort of frustrating. All I could think about was what else I could have done with it. What would YOU do with $60?

<-------Click there or here for the video.

videobloggingweek2006

Videoblogging Week 2006 #4--Love Dangerously

2006-04-07T22:02:00.000-04:00

My boyfriend likes to pick-up peculiar objects off of the street. This is one of those objects. I hope I don't come off as snarky, or mocking this kid's pain. I don't have kids, and I don't spend a lot of time with teens anymore; this Love Letter From Hell really sums up how much being in love (or thinking you're in love) can suck when you don't have the life experience to mentally process a painful break-up. We all know we've been there. We all remember. Vividly.

Call me crazy, but I think a teenaged broken heart is more dangerous than it used to be.

Click that picture or this for the video.

*nicknames have been changed to protect the innocent.

Featured music includes "ThePower of Love" by Frankie Goes to Hollywood: the most overly dramatic love song I can think of from my teen years, and "No Chump Love Sucker" by The Red Hot Chili Peppers, which is the angriest break-up song I can think of from the same period.

videobloggingweek2006

Videoblogging Week #3--LR5

2006-04-06T16:20:00.000-04:00

<------Click there or here. Videoblogging Week barrels into Wednesday! This will be my "cheat" day. I dip into my small I Hate This Video and Therefore Never Posted It vault to bring you a brief tour of the hospital unit where I work. I hate this video because it reveals my big secret: I have a seperate "Labor & Delivery Voice". It's that awful sing-songy, kindergarten teacher, ever-so-slightly-patronizing nurse voice. Since I filmed this, I have nipped it in the bud. If I was a patient and someone came at me with that voice I'd kick her.

Behold the bright lights, sharp objects and bad artwork that make up Labor Room 5! And every other labor room we have on the floor...and probably every labor room in the country. This video features the font Comic Sans in honor of TinaPoPo, because she absolutely loathes it. Does it fit into the Year of Vlogging Dangerously theme? Oddly, yeah, because I'm sooooo not supposed to film anything at my job.

...and I ain't going to feel bad about not posting a new video today. There's always tomorrow. And Friday. And Saturday. And Sunday. This video project is taking place during a week when I have a three-shift run, and I'm in charge tonight as well. I've actually never posted anything on days when I'm working, because my "day" is something like 3 hours long (I'm awake from 2:30pm then head to work at 6). So Videoblogging Week has taught me a big lesson: Vlogging on work days not the complete impossibility I thought it was--but it's not easy, either. Partly because there's only so many hours in a day and frequently life is for living, not filming, and partly because my camera is not small enough to cart around with me all day and capture video willy-nilly...but that is currrently being rectified. I loves me ebay.

videobloggingweek2006

Videoblogging Week 2006 #2--Eat Dangerously

2006-04-05T18:09:00.000-04:00

Click here or on the picture for the teensy video!

Videoblogging week continues! I have no idea whether or not I can keep up. Today, we walk the razor's edge with dangerous food.

Ever have homemade mayonnaise? It's so totally worth the risk...as long as you are a generally healthy adult without an compromised immune system and get your eggs fresh from a farmers' market.

"Making Lunch"
The Egerton Boyz
The Podsafe Music Network

videobloggingweek2006

Videoblogging Week 2006 #1--A Day Late and $896 Short!

2006-04-04T13:47:00.000-04:00

It's Videoblogging Week 2006! It's that inspirational time of year when all the good little boys and girls superglue their cameras to their hands, rack their brains and lose many hours of sleep in order to post One Video Per Day For One Whole Week! At the end of that week, the Fairy Vlogmother pays them a midnight visit and leaves gifts in their camera bags...sugarplums and miniDV cassettes and spare batteries! So I'm already a bad girl...I'm a day late. But you know what? I have a lot on my plate and little in my wallet. One day this week will get two videos to make up for the error of my ways...Please, please forgive me.

videobloggingweek2006

Bored?

2006-04-01T13:03:00.001-05:00

Go South Park Yourself. It's fun! That's me to the right, there...hey, BatmanGeek...they have a batman outfit, for you, too!

An Average Sunday "Morning" At Home

2006-03-27T06:14:00.000-05:00

Click here or on the picture above for the Quicktime, or here for the Flash rendition of my day off this weekend. I work the overnight shift 7pm to 7am, which can wreak havoc on my days off. Specifically, it virtually destroys that very first day off after a string of shifts, because I need a whole day to re-adjust to a more "normal" schedule. I get home from work at 8:30am, go straight to bed, wake up at around 3pm and start my day. This leads to dinner at 10pm, and a whole night of...well...killing time at home. Few of my friends want to meet me for dinner at 10pm, so I keep busy with various in-house activities such as attempting to interact with the television as much as possible. But no matter how much I talk to it, it never listens...

...until last night, that is.

Featuring some of America's favorites: Hummus, The Tick, The Punisher, James bond, The Girl Scouts and a couple of 1970's monster movie icons.

Wicked Lester?

2006-03-26T08:39:00.000-05:00

We're just one big happy family!

Okay...so we're one big weird happy family...

But come on: We Rock!

And before you go calling the ASPCA on me about MaisieGene: what you see there is the magic of Photoshop. BigB and I, however, are covered with grease-based make-up and sweating like crazy...I don't know how Mr. Simmons and the other members of KISS managed under such sticky conditions! Maybe there's some sort of genetic link between underactive sweat glands and always behaving like an asshat.

The Door

2006-03-23T10:24:00.000-05:00

We're going to try something new today! People who don't use web-based or desktop video aggregators to view my posts have reported some difficulties; many folks don't have Quicktime. Let's see if this helps:

Click here or on the picture for the Quicktime version.

(ED:it used to say " Or click here for flash...but it totally isn't working...I'll try again later...I'm cranky...I was so excited about it...)

(Re-ED:It's later now. You can click here for a flash version at Blip.tv, where this video lives)

It's very short and not the least bit sweet.

Unfortunately, my neighbor is losing her mind. She either needs major meds or has decided not to refill the prescription she already has for whatever it is that ails her. This is a tiny snippet of what I've been treated to ove rthe last several months...usually it goes on for hours. And hours. And hours.

(please toss me a litttle feedback about this whole Flash-thingy...thanks)
(totally don't bother...it ain't working...)
(Yeah, go ahead and let me know about that Flash link...)

Things I Will Miss About NYC #1 (because by 2007 I'm moving)

2006-03-21T21:44:00.000-05:00

Taxis used to be the ultimate New York City luxury. Raining? Take a cab. Cold? Take a cab. Tired? Take a cab. I used to take a taxi home from work any Saturday or Sunday morning. It's about a 15 minute walk from the subway to the hospital, and the weekends invariably bring unannounced trackwork resulting in long waits and sometimes no trains at all. Spending $12 (including tip) to get home in 10 minutes vs. anywhere between one hour and this-side-of-never always seemed worth it. After the big fare hike in 2004, I've really needed to take my city driving habit down a few notches. Only the pouring rain or being frightfully late can get me into a taxi these days. That trip home from work is now around $16. That's a pretty steep considering that for the same money you can treat yourself to the OTHER ultimate New York City luxury: the manicure/pedicure.

Now, I haven't done a great deal of U.S. traveling, but other major cities don't seem to offer the same wide range of extremities services that New York does. There are, quite literally, ten nail salons within ten blocks of my house. And I'm only counting those on my nearest stretch of avenue. If you throw in the avenues to my immediate north, you can triple or perhaps quadruple that figure. For those of you who don't measure distance in "blocks", ten blocks is about 1/3 mile. That's a lot of local acetone.

The price of a manicure has barely changed in 15 years. I had my very first manicure with my boss at a salon around the corner from the TGI Friday's where we worked. It cost $5...$7 with tip. These days, the same manicure (actually, a new and improved one) costs me $6...$8 with tip and sometimes $9 or $10, depending. The real bargain happens when you throw in a $13 pedicure and you get a discount for both: $16...$21-$25 with tip**. Why spend $16 on a taxi when you can spend it getting spiffed up, lacquered, softened and massaged? And if you really feel like treating yourself to something special, you can always upgrade to the mysterious "European" manicure or pedicure. I'm not sure what's European about being coated with turquoise goo and then wrapped in Saran for 20 minutes, but it's only an extra ten bucks. In more expensive neighborhoods you will find mani/pedis for more money, certainly. And I suppose you can go to a department store or any of the super fancy*** nail salons and spend upwards of $50 on just your toes...but why? I guess environment draws some women to the fancier places. I'm just not put off by fluorescent lighting, fake wood panels, plastic plants and Lite FM. As long as your salon sports big cushy vibrating pedicure chairs and a UV Quick Dry machine, I'm there!

With so many places to choose from, competition for your business is fierce. When one salon introduces a new add-on say, like hot lotion, quick-drying top coat, higher-grade polish, mineral soak or exfoliating scrubs, everyone else up the avenue has to do it, too. The latest innovation is the 5-minute head and neck massage which can range from sublime to abusive depending on whose hands you've been left in.

Nail salons in New York City are overwhelmingly Korean-owned, or, at least, Korean-staffed. My neighborhood is wildly diverse so even in these shops you'll find the occasional Brazilian, Croatian, Central American or Estonian nail tech. The salons are often named after their owner (or, more frequently, the manager-who-is-the-owner's-wife). There is Anna Nails, Suzie Nails, Hannah and Her Sister Nails, Christine Nails and my new favorite nail haunt: Pema Nails. Pema is from Tibet.

All the familiar budget-salon trappings can be found at Pema Nails. Wood paneling, harsh lighting, outdated magazines. But what makes Pema Nails special is the framed poster of The Dalai Lama draped with golden scarves with a mini-shrine complete with incense and flowers. There is a giant back-lit lightbox image of The Great Wall of China next to a smaller picture of The Himalayas. There is a small tv that is perpetually tuned in to The Game Show channel. The radio is blasting WKTU. There is a very out-of-place poster for "Footballers Wives" next to the autoclave. Pema herself is always smiling and chatty. As much as I loathe WKTU, I love it in there. All the manicurists are relatives of Pema's with one exception: Erica.

Erica is a pint-sized, nose-ring-wearing, Love's-Baby-Soft-smelling, gothy-dressing, softly-smiling, giggly, punk-rock slip of an Ecuadorian girl. She has a different primary colored streak in her hair every month, and she insists that she's 20 but I don't believe her. Her English is pretty darn good, she wants to go to college and she likes to make conversation, which I like. I find it difficult to sit through such an intimate activity without talking. How can you not converse with someone massaging cream halfway up your arm? She makes fun of me for making faces during the foot scrub and for giggling throughout her tweak-tweak shoulder massage (I'm ticklish--it's sweet torture). She responds by switching to an as-yet-undocumented massage method I like to call "Toddler Temper Tantrum". She just balls up her teeny fists and beats all over my back with them. It's not exactly relaxing, but it's not altogether unpleasant. It always ends in more laughter.

All of this should be written in past tense as I have not seen Erica for several weeks. I'm not sure where she's gone to and when I asked after her, Pema looked wounded--as if her feelings were hurt thinking that I didn't want her to do my nails. I'm hoping Erica has moved on to a better job with a better pay scale. These ladies make anywhere from $35 to $65 a shift, with tips on top of that. Those shifts are long, and most people tip only $2 per manicure, and each one can take an hour. Not a great rate. Tipping is a curious thing: even if you want to overdo it, you don't want to look ostentatious. To tip $5 on a 6$ service just looks...show-offy, but for Erica, I always did it anyway.

My first and by far most petty concern about leaving New York is this: who is going to do my nails?

Coming Soon: Things I Will Miss About NYC #2 (because by 2007 I'm moving)--"Where can a girl get a decent borek around here?"

**You gotta up the tip when you start adding feet into the mix because...well...it's feet.
***That salon is owned by a different old restaurant boss of mine...and she yelled at us a lot, too. I like to describe her as "hyperefficient".

A break from my workstress

2006-03-20T01:38:00.000-05:00

First off, a thousand thank yous. A million. I was totally overwhelmed at the outpouring of caring and warm wishes in response to my last post--just bowled over and deeply touched. I now feel a whole lot more comfortable writing/filming posts about work; the good as well as the not-so-good. Again, manymanymany thanks.

Secondly, I find myself missing New Orleans. I miss my honey and I miss my dog. They're both still down there working on the house. Well, BigB is working on the house. Maisie is mostly lying on the porch. I miss the warmer weather and I miss my Raspberry Pearl Baby.

Being from New York City, I never did learn how to drive a car.

2001: A Space Odyssey
Bluegrass 2001
12 Great Instrumental Recordings

Became a Nurse

2006-03-10T10:39:00.000-05:00

This is a long one. About 6 minutes--three minutes over my self-enforced limit. Sometimes limits were set to be broken. Click the pic or here to see the state I was in when I came home from work this morning. I was unsure of whether to post it, so I hurried up and did it anyway lest I change my mind. No titles. No editing...hence the length.

I only hit around 40% of the points I wanted to make, but that's what happens when there's no script. There's a fair amount of rambling here, and I just kind of plotzed. Inspired by Monika, I meant for this to be a post about why I became a nurse and why I enjoy it so much and instead the post turned out to be something else altogether.

A detailed work-related text post will follow offering clarifications, definitions and more fleshed out ideas...maybe tomorrow. I'm really very drained.